The Funniest Dad Jokes of 2025 (and 2024): The 100+ best dad jokes ever, dad jokes for adults, dad jokes for kids, dad jokes everywhere! Enjoy!

Welcome to our ultimate collection of the 100 best dad jokes ever! Whether you’re a parent looking for some light-hearted humor or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, this page has something for everyone. We have collected a mix of dad jokes for adults that are actually funny and dad jokes for kids that are sure to bring smiles to faces of all ages.

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Dad jokers at New Year´s Eve!

From classic one-liners to quirky puns, these funny dad jokes are guaranteed to brighten your day. So, grab a seat, have a chuckle, and pick your dad joke of the day from these timeless gems!

Don’t forget to add a joke in the comment section!

Lets get Started!

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Best Dad Jokes 2025.

  1. A turtle walks into a police station and says “help I’ve been robbed by three snails”. The police officer says “okay, tell me exactly what happened”. Turtle says “I don’t know, it all happened so fast”.
  2. “Okay I admit it. Maybe naming the dog ‘shark’ and taking him to the beach wasn’t my best idea”
  3. Why was the tomato red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  4. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  6. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
  7. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
  8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  9. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
  10. What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
  11. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
  12. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
  13. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  14. What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
  15. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
  16. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  17. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
  18. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
  19. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  20. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

Bad Dad Jokes (Really Bad but Funny).

  1. Why did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  2. I sold our vacuum cleaner because it was just gathering dust.
  3. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she kept running from the ball.
  4. Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.
  5. What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
  6. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  7. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  8. Why did the bread loaf have an attitude? It was sourdough.
  9. Why do the French love snails? Because they don’t eat fast food!
  10. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? So fish ticated.
  11. How does a lawyer say goodbye? “I’ll be suing ya.”
  12. What cheese is made backwards? Edam.
  13. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
  14. Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
  15. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  16. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  17. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
  18. What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter; he’s not going to come.
  19. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
  20. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

Rather Stupid Dad Jokes.

  1. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
  2. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  3. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
  4. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
  5. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  6. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  7. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
  8. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
  9. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  10. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
  11. Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
  12. How does a tree access the internet? It logs in.
  13. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
  14. How do cows stay up to date with the news? They read the moos-paper.
  15. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
  16. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
  17. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  18. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  19. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
  20. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.

Corny Dad Jokes (Bad Groan but funny Dad Jokes)

  1. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  2. What type of music do balloons hate? Pop music.
  3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  5. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
  6. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
  7. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
  8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  9. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know which comes first.
  10. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  11. How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. JK! Rowling.
  12. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
  13. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out!
  14. I would tell you a joke about an unfinished painting, but it’s not done yet.
  15. How do you make 7 even? Take away the s.
  16. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
  17. What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office!
  18. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
  19. I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
  20. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

Dad Jokes for Kids.

  1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta!
  3. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
  4. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
  5. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
  6. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
  7. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish!
  8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  9. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
  10. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
  11. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  12. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  13. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  14. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
  15. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
  16. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
  17. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
  18. I would tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
  19. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  20. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Dad Jokes for Adults.

  1. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
  2. Why did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
  3. Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment.
  4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  5. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  6. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  7. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y!
  8. Why are volcanoes so popular? They are lava-able.
  9. I’ve decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.
  10. Why don’t spiders trust the internet? They get their information from the Web.
  11. I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
  12. Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants.
  13. Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
  14. I tried to catch some fog. But I mist.
  15. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course. Houses can’t jump.
  16. Why do spiders know everything? They get their information from the Web.
  17. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.
  18. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  19. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
  20. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

Dad Jokes About Money.

  1. Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.
  2. Why did the penny get a job? Because it wanted to make some cents.
  3. What’s a skateboard’s favorite type of money? Rad-ical currency!
  4. Why don’t dollar bills make good friends? Because they are always changing.
  5. What kind of tea do rich people drink? Proper tea.
  6. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants and a few dollars.
  7. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets.
  8. How do you know if a banker is good at his job? Check his balance!
  9. Why can’t you trust someone with loose change? Because they just don’t make any cents.
  10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and the bank statement!
  11. What’s the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market? Start with a large one.
  12. Why don’t dollar bills like to compete in sports? Because they hate to lose their cents.
  13. Why did the accountant break up with his girlfriend? She was too taxing.
  14. Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.
  15. I lost money on my stocks last week. They’re now stationary.

Dad Jokes about the Weather.

  1. How does a snowman get around? He rides an ‘icicle.
  2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and blushed from the cold!
  3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  4. Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow? She liked cool music.
  5. I can’t stand Russian dolls; they’re so full of themselves, especially in this cold weather.
  6. What do you call a snowman in summer? Water.
  7. What do you call an igloo without a bathroom? An “ig.”
  8. Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They wear snow caps.
  9. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.
  10. What’s the best thing to put into a pie in winter? Your teeth!
  11. How does a snowman get around? By riding an ‘icicle.’
  12. It’s so cold outside, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
  13. Did you hear about the snowman who went to the carrot convention? He said it was a ‘root awakening.’
  14. What do you get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.

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